Life Coaching Tip: What if the “or” you’ve been living inside doesn’t actually have to exist? So many of us have been operating under the belief that choosing one thing means giving up another, but that story deserves a closer look. In this article, I share how a vacation swim, an icy fall, and a whole lot of mindset work taught me that the “and” life is not only possible, it’s available right now. If you’re ready to stop choosing between the life you have and the life you want, this one’s for you.
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Let me tell you about the day I swam in an outdoor pool last January when the temperature was in the low 30s.
I know. I’m a bit of a weirdo, but stay with me.
As mentioned, I’ve always loved my daily walks. I take two long walks by the lake every day, and it’s non-negotiable. It’s my special time to get centered and bond with nature and my pup, Ginger.
But strength training? That’s always been the thing I knew I should do and never quite got around to doing. I was “too busy,” and it never quite made it into my schedule.
Then, on a recent vacation, something clicked. We were in the south and the temperatures were unseasonably cold, but I was still drawn to the heated pools at the resort where we were staying.
Once I got in the pool, I remembered something I’d apparently forgotten: I love to swim. Like, really love it. I swam every single day of that trip, including that morning the weather decided to be a jerk.
When I got home, the thought crossed my mind: what if I joined a gym with a pool? And almost immediately, my brain fired back: You don’t have time for one more thing.
And then came my infamous fall on the ice in early February when both of my arms were injured. Suddenly, I had physical therapy exercises to do every single day — and plenty of time, apparently, to fit them in.
That’s when it hit me: swimming is strength training. It can really help me get my arms back in shape fast.
My “or” had become my “and.”
Now, I still take my daily walks with Ginger AND I swim at least twice a week. Who knew? Turns out, I am a time magician. (wink!)
I share this because I think so many of us are living inside an “or” that doesn’t have to exist.
We believe our options are fixed. We think that life is a series of either/ors, and that choosing one thing means giving up another. That there simply isn’t enough time, energy, or room for both.
I know this trap well. I also lived it when I left the community mental health field to become a life coach. For most of my career, I was stuck in a scarcity mindset that whispered: You can’t do meaningful work AND make a real living. You have to pick.
It took time (and a lot of mindset work) to realize that wasn’t a fact. It was just a thought I’d been treating like one.
Today, I run a successful coaching practice AND do work that lights me up every single day.
The “or” was never the truth. It was just the story I hadn’t questioned yet.
Here’s what I want to offer you today: If it was just a story for me, I’m pretty sure it’s just a story for you, too.
Instead of choosing between this or that — what if you could have both?
- Be in the best shape of your life AND grow your business.
- Travel the world AND stay connected to the people you love.
- Be a present mom AND launch your passion project.
- Do work that fills your soul AND get paid well for it.
- Practice self-care AND continue to uplevel and grow.
This is about making a deliberate decision to stop letting “or” be the default and start asking a better question:
What would it look like if I could have both?
Now, here’s the practical part, because the “and” life requires energy, and energy has to come from somewhere.
If you want to create more, you must look honestly at what’s draining you. And you must set loving boundaries for yourself.
What would you be willing to give up? The late-night doom scrolling. The Netflix spiral that started as “just one episode.” The perfectionism loop that keeps you endlessly tweaking instead of shipping. The procrastination that masquerades as being busy.
Even one hour a week redirected toward what matters is momentum. Small moments, consistently chosen, tip the scale in your favor — and they add up faster than you think.
Here’s the other thing to watch for: your brain is going to offer you “lack” thoughts. It’s sneaky like that.
It will say things like:
- Here’s why I can’t have both.
- I’m too far behind.
- This is why it won’t work for me.
- I don’t have the capacity.
When that happens (and it will), zoom out. Go back to the person who dared to imagine the “and.” She’s not reacting to what she doesn’t have yet. She’s expanding and focused on where she’s going, not how far she still has to travel.
That version of you? She’s not a fantasy. She’s just a few decisions ahead of where you are right now.
So, here’s what I encourage you to do this week:
Write your “and” statement. Be bold and make it yours.
And then ask: what is one thing I could let go of this week to create just a little more space for the “and” life?
You don’t have to figure it all out at once. You just have to start asking the better question.
Next week, we’re going to go even deeper — because once you know what you want, the real work is becoming the version of yourself who already has it. And that conversation starts with identity.
See you next week for one of my favorite conversations yet.
xo Tracy
The Truth About Balance