Life Coaching Tip: It’s time to break up with that mean girl who is inside of your brain, who judges and criticizes you, and tries to hold you back. Although her intentions are good, her tactics are cruel and ruthless. She’s relentless at times, but you have the ultimate power to shut her down!
Hello, my friend!
Last post, I encouraged you to write a self-love letter for Valentine’s Day, and I’m wondering how it went?
Was it difficult to write? Did you find it healing?
If you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear back from you!
The members of the Shine On program shared their self-love letters in group this week, and sister, listening to them had me sobbing like a baby!
It was such a moving experience to hear these incredible women appreciate their own beautiful essence that my heart was full. Especially, since some said the writing flowed naturally for them and wasn’t difficult at all. Epic progress, for reals!
This week, we’re writing a different letter, that I think will prove to be equally as powerful, and so I decided to share it with you too. Truthfully, I think you will find it fun (and also liberating!)
This week, the letter is to your “frenemy” within.
You know who I am talking about, that mean girl who is inside of your brain, who judges and criticizes you, and tries to hold you back. She’s relentless at times, and she is driven by your primal brain.
This is the part of your brain that is fear based and reactive, and it is fanatically committed to keeping you “safely” tucked inside your comfort zone.
And so, although your frenemy within is coming from a good place, her tactics are extreme: She will distort reality, and create false, scary scenarios, embellishing the possible outcomes in attempt to keep you paralyzed in fear.
She will also exaggerate your flaws, ridicule your mistakes, minimize your strengths, and shame you into taking your confidence down so low that you forget about your true, amazing gifts and talents and lose trust in yourself completely.
The women of Shine On decided to give their frenemy a name, like “Crappy Carol”, “Despicable Wench”, and “Bitchy Brenda”. Hilarious, right?
This gave me the idea for the new letter writing assignment. I believe it’s time we all put a stop to our frenemy within’s attempts to sabotage our dreams, happiness, and success!
Ready to take your inner mean girl’s power away and send her packing?
This letter will help you create some space and have a plan of action next time she starts talking smack. (And if she’s trying to talk you out of writing this, don’t give her the time of day. She’s just being her usual shady self!)
Here’s an outline to get your started:
Dear (adjective) (Your frenemy’s name – make it a good one!),
Thank you for your extreme commitment to keeping me alive all these years. I know you’ve just wanted to protect me from the scary unknown, so I’ll stay “safely” tucked inside my comfort zone. Much appreciation for your concern!
But times have changed, and this must stop. I’m ready to move forward. I’m breaking up with you.
From this day forward, you are unauthorized to bombard me with frightening, false scenarios of gloom and doom like…
If you cross this boundary, I will not freak out. Instead, I intend to repeat the following mantra to get myself right back on track…
I will also no longer tolerate the ways you try to confuse me or keep me spinning in overwhelm, by telling me things like…
I’m on to you, my frenemy!
And so, if you try to pull this nonsense again, I intend to remain calm, clear, and collected by reminding myself of this beautiful fact…
Most importantly, your verbal abuse is stopping NOW!
Seriously girl, you should have your mouth washed out with soap! I’m not falling for your harsh criticism, doubt, or judgment anymore.
The very next minute you start your trash-talk, I intend to remind myself of the following truths that come from deep down in my soul…
I promise you that I am fully and completely committed to these intentions! Out of the billions of humans visiting this earth over time, there is and will only be one me. My dreams were put into my heart for a reason. I have work to do, and you will no longer get in my way.
Listen to my words… I intend to shine!