Life Coaching Tip: When you blame others for your circumstances, then you are giving away your power. “Victims” are helpless to make improvements for themselves. And although blaming others is often the easiest path to take, it can keep you stuck in your story of powerlessness for years, even a lifetime. When you instead take responsibility for the results in your life, both the successes and failures, then you are empowered to make necessary changes.
I was feeling a little frustrated this morning as I stopped at my favorite spot at the bluffs where the lake view is always spectacular. I love to quiet my mind in this spot and just listen to the waves hit the shore with the sounds of the birds singing in the distance.
But, on this particular morning, a couple of other park visitors decided to stop at “my” spot too. They were standing far enough away from me, but they were talking loudly, very loudly. One of the women was complaining about her boss, and the other was commiserating, sounding like she was unhappy with her work situation too.
I tried to tune them out and focus my attention on the view that usually calms my spirit, but I struggled to do so as their conversation continued on in dramatic fashion.
Each woman was in victim-mode, blaming her supervisor and co-workers for her problems, and the life coach in me wanted to tell them that they will never be able to change their situation around until they change their perspective.
But I didn’t think that would go over too well as these gals were not playin’, so I proceeded on my walk, annoyed that I was cheated out of my daily dose of serenity. The unfairness really started to bug me, and I stewed and stewed about the injustice of it all.
I must admit, my thoughts got a little judge-y too.
I mean, people really need to start taking some responsibility for their own happiness, right? How ridiculous were those women?
Do you see where this is going?
Well, I finally did, and the irony was not lost on me. I laughed out loud, for real!
Apparently, someone else had joined the blame-game – ME!
I seriously spent almost the entire hour I had set aside to center myself, stewing about the behavior and opinions of two strangers!
They didn’t take away my serenity, I gave it away, opting to turn my thoughts to a story in which I was the victim of a great injustice.
Oh my goodness Tracy!
Why does this matter?
Well, because when we blame others for our circumstances, then we are giving away our power. “Victims” are helpless to make improvements for themselves.
And although blaming others is often the easiest path to take, it can keep us stuck in a story of powerlessness for years, even a lifetime.
But when we instead take responsibility for the results in our life, both the successes and failures, then we are empowered to make changes.
So, I am happy to report that after I had my epiphany, I got real with myself.
I definitely do not like the way I feel when I am in blame mode, and my brain doesn’t try to come up with solutions from that place. Instead, it tells me that I must helplessly suffer.
And, once I was in responsibility mode, I decided to spend the rest of my walk tuning into my five senses and re-centering myself, which was awesome.
Turns out, I had the power to create my own serenity all along.