Your Calendar Can Set You Free

Life Coaching Tip: What if your calendar could set you free instead of hold you hostage? When we schedule what lights us up alongside everything else we’re responsible for, we stop living by accident and start living on purpose. A full calendar and a fulfilling life are not mutually exclusive, my friend.

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I can remember it like it was yesterday.

My husband, Jerry, looked at me one evening and said, “Why don’t we put a little fun on our calendar?”

Now, when he said “we,” what he really meant was me.

Like so many of my sisters, I was responsible for managing the family’s calendar in addition to working a demanding full-time job in community mental health, carrying a caseload of more than 50 clients. Our two daughters were both busy teenagers back then with school, sports, friends, and all the things. And I was my aunt’s person — my aunt who was living with Alzheimer’s Disease and needed support to stay safe, social, and feel loved.

Needless to say, that conversation did not go well. But I am happy to report that our now 35-year marriage survived it. (giggle)

I wish I had known then what I know now, and I am so glad to be able to share it with you.

Years later, an incredible business coach taught me something that changed the way I think about scheduling my time entirely: stop using your calendar against yourself.

So many of us either resist putting things on a calendar or resent it once we do. It feels heavy, like a trap that robs us of our freedom and spontaneity.

But what if we looked at our calendar not as a list of obligations, but as the key to our freedom?

WHAAAT? I know, stay with me here.

Here is the thing, my friend. You are powerful, and you get to decide what goes on your calendar.

What if you intentionally scheduled the things that give you energy and joy, and you gave them equal weight alongside everything else?

And what if, at the same time, you reconnected with the “why” behind the things that feel like obligations?

For instance, I could have looked at attending my daughter’s cross-country meets as just another item on my list, but the truth is, I loved watching her do something that lit her up completely.

I could have viewed supporting my clients as daunting, but I adored them and felt genuinely honored to serve them.

I had the same feeling about caring for my aunt.  I remember thinking, “I am so fortunate to get to spend these years with her.” The challenges we navigated together put us in some truly hilarious situations, and those memories bring me so much joy now. I am grateful I got to be her person.

Today, my calendar is just as full as it was back then. My coaching practice takes up a good amount of space, as does time with family and friends. But now I also schedule my morning walks, swims, date nights, travel, and time alone to follow whatever captures my heart.

A few years ago, I discovered a book called “Tranquility by Tuesday” by Laura Vanderkam, and it introduced me to a scheduling approach I have used ever since.

She recommends doing your planning on Fridays for the week ahead—Monday through Sunday. I love this method because Friday puts me in an almost-weekend mindset, which means I am less likely to overschedule myself.

It also shifts my focus forward to the following weekend, which gives me plenty of time to buy tickets, make reservations, and invite friends.

For many people, it also helps reduce the Sunday anxiety that tends to creep in when the week ahead feels unplanned and uncertain.

There are many ways to approach scheduling, and the method itself is less important than the intention behind it. What matters is that we take ownership of our time and use it thoughtfully.

When we do, we begin to live more purposefully. We start to see that a balanced life IS possible simply by filling in the spaces with what matters most.

Does this mean everything always goes according to plan? Ummm, absolutely not. Honestly, a flawless week is a rare and beautiful thing!

But when life does what life does and something unexpected comes up, the practice of intentional scheduling makes it easier to re-evaluate, adjust, and give equal priority to everything that keeps you feeling alive and energized.

So, what do you say, my friend?

What if your calendar became the thing that sets you free instead of the thing that holds you hostage? What if you started this week?

I encourage you to give it a try and see what opens up for you. I have a feeling you will be pleasantly surprised.

xo Tracy