Life Coaching Tip: We ALL need support in our lives. And this is particularly true for women, who are often the hand-holders and cheerleaders for their families and friends, yet rarely receive the same back in return. I encourage you to set big goals AND build a support system for yourself! Ask for what you need and accept help, care, kindness, and compassion when it’s offered to you. You deserve it, and your dreams depend on it!
“Would you like me to hold your hand?”
That’s what the nurse asked me as I waited for the doctor to begin a needle biopsy procedure after a suspicious mammogram revealed an area of concern. I was shaking, partially because the room was freezing cold, but mostly because I was not sure what to expect and I was scared.
I burst into tears after hearing the nurse’s kind offer, and through my sniffles, I said, “Yes, please.”
That was more than a decade ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. The actual procedure turned out to be relatively painless, and thankfully, the results were benign. But the comfort that compassionate nurse provided stuck with me for all the years that followed.
My emotional reaction to her kindness confused me at first, and I wondered why I felt it so deeply.
But after some thought, I realized it had been a very long time since anyone had comforted me like that, as I was typically the one extending my hand to others most days. I was a mama, a caregiver for aging loved ones, and a social worker at the time… handholding and nurturing was my jam.
That insight created a genuine sense of empathy and compassion in me, for myself and my inner child, who I realized also needs to be comforted and cared for now and again.
And the warmth of that handholding memory stuck with me in my subconscious mind, and came up a few years later when I lost my job. I felt “lost” myself, and I knew I needed help. I was paralyzed with feelings of shame, betrayal, depression, and anger at the injustice of it all.
But I knew I needed to move forward. I had big dreams. I aspired to enroll in a coaching school, earn my certification, and open my life coaching practice.
I wanted to empower other women to live wholeheartedly and accomplish their goals and dreams, but how could I do that if I couldn’t even get myself out of bed?
“I want this so bad, but I can’t do it alone,” I thought. “I just need someone to hold my hand.” I felt this in my core.
And that’s what inspired me to hire my very first life coach and move forward with my plans. Thanks to her initial guidance and support, my coaching practice is now thriving, and I have helped hundreds of clients change their lives.
This brings me to something that came up recently when one of my incredible clients was feeling scared of her next move to level-up and build her new business.
I told her, “I’ve got you! I will hold your hand through all of this,” and she did what I did years ago. Her eyes filled with tears, and she was overcome with emotion and relief.
This client was struggling at her 9 to 5 job (one of the reasons she wants to build her new biz asap) and shared with me that one of her boss’ favorite sayings is: “We don’t have time for any handholding here. Everyone needs to put on their big girl panties and learn this themselves.”
Her company was implementing a new system in her department, and the lack of proper training was making my client anxious.
Now, I should mention that she is one of the most intelligent, courageous, kind-hearted people I know. She’s not afraid of hard work, picks up things quickly, and gives 110% to anything she does.
But her boss’ coldness and lack of empathy was hitting her harder than she realized. And so, when I told her that I would be there for her and hold her hand as she grew her new business, it touched her deeply.
She said, “You just don’t even know how much I needed to hear that tonight.”
But I did.
My professional experience as a life coach, in addition to my own personal experience, has taught me just how much we ALL need support in our lives.
And this is particularly true for women, who are often the hand-holders and cheerleaders for their families and friends, yet rarely receive the same back in return.
Sometimes this is true because there is no one offering to provide support to us, and other times it’s because we turn down offers of support, wanting to appear strong and in control.
Well sister, if this is you, then I encourage you to flip this thought around. It takes real courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable and accept support.
This IS being strong.
And I also want to encourage you to set big goals and reach high enough to make your primal brain go bananas – 50% excitement and 50% fear is the sweet spot!
Yes, go big AND build a support system for yourself! Ask for what you need, and accept help, care, kindness, and compassion when it’s offered to you.
You deserve it, and your dreams depend on it.
You don’t have to do this alone!
Contrary to popular belief, suffering is not required to manifest your dreams.
And, if you’re feeling a little bit like I was years ago, ready to take steps forward towards your dreams, but struggling to get your foot off the ground…
Let’s talk. I’ve got you!
I would be honored to be your life coach and hold your hand as you propel yourself forward and shine!