Life Coaching Tip: Confirmation bias can keep you blind to the opportunities right in front of you. It can trap you in a loop of self-doubt. But when you become aware of it, you can start to shift your thinking and create the life you truly desire. Continue reading to learn more . . . .
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I’m excited to share this heartwarming story with you today.
A former client, Erin, recently reached out to me with some amazing news about her business—a passion project she started over 8 years ago. As I listened to her story of success, I couldn’t help but feel deeply inspired. And it felt like a beautiful synchronicity because Erin and I once discussed confirmation bias—a concept I introduced to her when we first began working together. And wouldn’t you know, it’s been the focus of this month’s Shine On Program!
Here’s Erin’s journey…
When we first met, Erin was stuck. She was in a soul-crushing job she hated and felt trapped by doubts that she wasn’t qualified to pursue her dream of starting a business. For years, she held onto the belief that she just wasn’t cut out for it—and to her, that belief felt like an absolute fact.
She had heard for so long that starting a business was risky and that she wasn’t “business minded.” And whenever she saw someone else’s success on Instagram, instead of feeling inspired, Erin would think, They must have come from a family of entrepreneurs or have somehow had more opportunities than me.
When stories of failed businesses surfaced, Erin thought, Of course! The odds are stacked against anyone who tries to launch a business in these uncertain times.
But then, Erin took a bold step: she reached out to me for coaching.
And let me tell you, I was thrilled. I knew deep down that her highest self was already calling her to do this, she just needed help releasing the story that was holding her back.
To be real, Erin’s brain didn’t let go of her old story without a fight!
She’d spent years telling herself she wasn’t qualified, and by then, Erin had gathered a mountain of “proof” to validate her doubts: She only had a small network; She lacked a business degree; She’d failed at a vending machine business years ago . . . the list in her mind went on and on.
Whenever we’d discuss her many achievements, Erin dismissed them as “flukes” and found ways to explain them away. She couldn’t see how far she’d actually come.
But, sister, I believed in Erin and all her badassery!
As her coach, I helped Erin see that the only thing keeping her stuck was her own limiting story. She’d repeated it so many times and collected enough “evidence” to fill a warehouse, and it felt like undeniable truth to her.
This is confirmation bias. It’s a natural part of how our brains work. Essentially, when you believe something—even if it’s not true—your mind searches for “evidence” that confirms that belief, while disregarding everything that contradicts it. It keeps you stuck in old patterns, even when there’s so much more waiting for you.
Once Erin understood confirmation bias and how it was playing out in her life, she was ready to challenge it. Slowly but surely, she started loosening the grip of those old beliefs. She began looking for evidence that supported her dream—and, more importantly, she started taking action toward it, even when fear and doubt crept in.
It wasn’t easy, at first—but with each step, her courage and confidence grew stronger. And eventually, that courage turned into the thriving, successful business Erin runs today.
A little more about Confirmation Bias:
Confirmation bias is the tendency to notice only what confirms what you already believe and ignore anything that challenges it. It’s why, when you feel “not good enough” or “not ready,” you can only see the setbacks and failures in your life, even when success is within your reach.
But here’s the thing: You don’t have to let your limiting beliefs define you!
Here’s how you can begin shifting your mindset, just like Erin did:
- Awareness is key: Pay attention to when you’re focusing on evidence that supports your limiting beliefs. Start noticing when you dismiss opportunities or positive feedback.
- Challenge your beliefs: Ask yourself, What if the opposite is true? What if I am talented, worthy, and prepared? Seek out stories or examples that prove your doubts wrong.
- Celebrate your wins: Start a list of all the times you’ve succeeded, no matter how small. Remind yourself of when you overcame obstacles and celebrate even the smallest of wins.
- Reframe thoughts that don’t serve you: When you catch yourself thinking thoughts like, I’m not good enough, reframe them: I am learning, growing, and becoming more capable every day.
- Act anyway: Even if you’re unsure, take one small step toward your goal. Every imperfect action you take will show your brain that success is possible, even in the face of doubt.
- Surround yourself with support: Spend time with people who believe in your potential and encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone. Often, others can see your greatness more clearly than you can.
- Embrace a growth mindset: Instead of spinning on thoughts like, I don’t know what to do, direct your brain to more helpful thoughts like, I only need to do one step at a time. Then ask yourself, what step can I take today? Be kind to yourself and replace self-criticism with curiosity.
My friend, your limiting beliefs don’t have to define your life experience. The only thing standing between you and your dreams is the belief that what you want isn’t possible. Start by questioning this belief, challenge your inner critic, and take one small step forward.
Erin’s story is proof that confirmation bias can keep us blind to the opportunities right in front of us. It can trap us in a loop of self-doubt. But when we become aware of it, we can start to shift our thinking and create the life we truly desire.
So, take a moment today and ask yourself: What if the opposite of my limiting belief is true? What if I am ready, capable, and deserving of success?
The only way to find out is by taking the first step.
Your dream is waiting. And it all begins with a willingness to believe it’s possible!
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