Life Coaching Tip: As women, many of us were taught to shrink and hold ourselves back—as if this somehow will make the world a better place. Can you imagine the impact you would have if you stopped stubbornly resisting your brilliance? And better yet, can you imagine how YOU will feel when you fully step into your power and become the mightiest version of yourself? It all starts with awareness, and that’s what this post is about . . . .
The bakery clerk shook her head vigorously.
“I just can’t do it,” she said. “That word is way too long.”
“No, I’m sure that you can!” I told her in a reassuring tone. “Look, you already did this one and it looks amazing. The second one only has 10 letters—far fewer than the one you already did!”
I pointed to the cake where she’d already neatly written with yellow icing the words: Happy Birthday Jerry!
And then to the piece of paper where I’d written VIENUOLIKA –the Lithuanian word for the number eleven—that I wanted written on the second cake.
She shook her head again.
“No, I’m not a cake decorator,” she told me.
“Okay, fair enough. But you do work in the bakery, and your boss must think you’re up for the responsibility or she wouldn’t have left you alone to manage the department, right?” I asked her.
Then, I reminded her again that she just wrote on the first cake nicely with no problem.
Now before you judge me for being a demanding customer, let me further explain the situation . . . .
It was the day of my husband’s birthday, and we had a celebration planned for him at Darkroom Brewing Company to unveil a beer that was made in his honor (and with his participation): Vienoulika Lucky Lager. Jerry is Lithuanian and his birthday is 11/11, so brewery owner, Amanda, hit a home run naming his beer!
It was just a few hours before the event, and we were picking up the cake I had ordered in advance. When we arrived at the bakery, the clerk opened the lid to the cake box for me to take a peek, and I was thrilled to see how beautifully it had turned out.
However, I also noticed that the box was sitting on a back shelf, and so I asked the clerk if the cake needed to be refrigerated.
“Oh, yes, for sure, because of the whipped cream frosting” she answered.
And when I asked her how long it had been sitting on that shelf, she said she had no idea. She said that she’d arrived for her shift more than an hour prior, and the cake was already there. With further investigation, we concluded that the cake had likely been sitting on that shelf for more than four hours—and a quick Google search told us that was too long to go unrefrigerated to be safely served.
So, I went into problem-solving mode and found two premade cakes in the bakery’s refrigerator case to use as substitutions. Not ideal, but good enough.
I just needed something written on them.
And there we were, staring at that damn second cake . . . A competent, but less-than confident, bakery clerk stubbornly not willing to write on the cake, and an even more stubborn life coach, determined to get this task handled and move onto the fun part of the day!
So, with a little more coaxing, calming, encouraging, and reassuring—the clerk finally did write on that second cake—but with an unsteady hand. The letters were slanted and not centered. However, she was pleased as punch with herself, and I praised her for her efforts and courage.
Good enough was good enough. I was happy to have cake to serve at Jerry’s party!
And as my friend, Amanda, said . . . this will make for a good story, haha!
So, if you’re wondering why I am sharing this with you today, you can blame Amanda:)
I’m cracking myself up here, but there really is a point to this story. . . .
What first struck me about this experience was the bakery clerk’s obstinate refusal to write on the second cake which was her job. This was clearly due to a lack of confidence and self-belief rather than a lack of ability because she had already proven that she could do the task at hand with the first cake–very well, in fact.
And her lack of confidence and negative self-talk led to her doing a less-than-stellar job on the second cake. It was an obvious case of self-sabotage.
This type of resistance to fully delve into one’s gifts, talents, and abilities, is something I commonly see in the women I coach due to a lack of self-trust. As women, many of us have been conditioned from an early age not to trust ourselves or believe in our own capabilities. There is often a hustling for worthiness and a drive for perfection that can stop us in our tracks and prevent us from living up to our full potential.
I am guessing that there was a time in the bakery clerk’s life when she received the message that she wasn’t skilled or talented enough to write on cakes. She must have been interested in the bakery department to have sought out a job there—but she is careful to never have the audacity to call herself a “cake decorator” for fear of being discovered as a fraud.
The second thing that struck me about this experience was the confirmation that when women refuse to step into their power and fully embrace their magnificence, the world loses. In this case, it might have only meant that I would have left the store with a blank cake—not a tragedy, for sure—but it still would have put a damper on Jerry’s special evening.
However, in other cases, the impact can be more significant.
Like when I made an offer to a formatting expert on Upwork to help me with my book, but she almost didn’t accept it because I was insisting on paying her a fair wage. Yes, you read that right.
Faiza, an experienced professional from Pakistan, was insisting that I pay her one-fifth of what I listed in the job post, and I couldn’t possibly, in good conscience, do such a thing. I explained to her that I am a life coach for women and my integrity would not allow me to pay her such an unfair, low wage.
It took her FOREVAH to accept my proposal, to the point that I almost hired someone else.
Fortunately, Faiza finally did agree to work with me, and she did an impeccable job. So impeccable, in fact, that I hired her to format the eBook version of my book a few weeks later—with far less drama, thank goodness!
Faiza’s refusal to accept her own value almost prevented our work together—and that would have been such a shame as it would have negatively impacted both of our experiences.
As women, many of us were taught to shrink and hold ourselves back—as if this somehow will make the world a better place.
Sounds ridiculous, I know—but it’s true.
And it’s time to stop this nonsense.
If you can relate, please think about how the world would benefit if you stopped holding back.
Your gifts and talents are unique to you, and they are meant for you to share as only you can do.
What if you . . .
Started the business you’ve been dreaming of?
Spoke up in the meeting and shared your innovative ideas?
Created the project that you KNOW will fulfill you?
Insisted on fair compensation for your work?
Went for that promotion that will surely challenge you?
Can you imagine the impact you would have if you stopped stubbornly resisting your brilliance?
And better yet, can you imagine how YOU will feel when you fully step into your power and become the mightiest version of yourself?
You have ONLY ONE LIFE, and this is IT! Don’t waste any more precious time just dreaming about what lights you up.
Listen, I know that change can feel scary, especially when your primal brain is doing its best to keep you safely tucked away in your comfort zone. And I understand that it might feel impossible to see past a lifetime of beliefs that bring up insecurities, fear, overwhelm, and guilt for you.
But I can help.
For more than a decade, I’ve helped women just like you radically change their lives through coaching and mindset work. I can help you gain awareness about the mindset traps that might be getting in your way and discover easy, practical steps to help you finally break free and step into your power!
My private coaching program offers all the components necessary for you to succeed:
- professional coaching insight & guidance
- a customized goal plan
- compassionate support & inspiration
- proven mindset practices
- habit strategies
- structure & accountability
The first step is to schedule a complimentary consultation, and I’ve made the process easy-breezy for you. Just click on the button at the top of this page.
Sister! You are meant to flourish, thrive, and shine. And when you do, you will automatically help others flourish, thrive, and shine too!
Doesn’t that just take the cake? (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist!)