{"id":6026,"date":"2023-03-13T13:33:50","date_gmt":"2023-03-13T13:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/?p=6026"},"modified":"2024-02-01T23:50:37","modified_gmt":"2024-02-01T23:50:37","slug":"the-worry-trap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/the-worry-trap\/","title":{"rendered":"The Worry Trap"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Life Coaching Tip: One of the most common ways we sabotage our own succe<\/em>ss is by worrying. And as I pointed out in my last post, shining a light of awareness on the sneaky tricks your primal brain likes to play is the best way to help yourself move forward.<\/em> Put your subconscious mind on notice because we are going to be exposing its mischief and setting you free from its\u00a0tyranny!<\/em>
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Earlier in my career, I worked in the mental health field, facilitating support groups for people living with mental illness and their family members.

My clients taught me so much in those group meetings\u2014as their wisdom came to them honestly\u2014originating from their resilient determination to live a joyful life, despite the challenging and often heartbreaking hand they had been dealt.

Something an insightful woman, Kate, shared one day in the \u201cSenior Women\u2019s Group\u201d stopped me in my tracks.\u00a0 It was a true epiphany for me at the time . . . .

\u201cWorrying is like a rocking chair. it will give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.\u201d \u2014proverb<\/em>

Kate told the us that she read this adage as a young woman, and it stuck with her ever since.

Kate was a gifted artist and sculptor, who was compassionate, wise, and kind. She had lived a hard life.\u00a0 As a divorced, single mother who struggled with the serious symptoms of mental illness\u2014poverty made her life even more difficult. This was true for most of the other women in the group, too, and Kate was offering words of encouragement to her soul sisters that day.

\u201cI used to think that if I was worrying, I was being productive,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cBut once I thought about the rocking chair analogy, I realized that worrying was the thing that was actually getting in my way!\u201d

Brilliant, right?

I mean, of course, it makes sense\u2014but how many of us were brought up to believe that worrying is something we\u2019re supposed<\/em> to do?

I know, I was.\u00a0

Not only did I believe that worrying was productive, but I also thought it was synonymous with being intelligent and proactive.

I believed that successful people were informed people, and they stayed ahead of problems by worrying.\u00a0 It seemed like a sensible thing to do.

And sister, I was good at it!

Not only did I worry all damn day long, but I was an especially proficient worrier at about 3 a.m.

I concocted and solved scenario-after-scenario until the point of exhaustion.

And ironically, my worried thoughts rarely had anything to do with reality!

I worried that I might have said the wrong thing or handled something wrong. I worried about my job, marriage, and kids.\u00a0 I worried about money and how we would make ends meet if X happened, and Y happened, or heaven forbid, Z happened. I worried about not having enough time to get it all done, and what people would think of me if I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 I worried that I wasn\u2019t being a good wife, mother, social worker, daughter, friend . . . .<\/em>

Yikes! I could go on and filled up a whole book with my worried thoughts\u2014and I\u2019ll bet you could too.

My favorite author, Jen Sincero,<\/a> says: \u201cWorrying is praying for stuff you don\u2019t want.\u201d

And it\u2019s true!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only does worrying take you away from the peace and sufficiency of today, but it often causes unnecessary angst\u2014as your brain can\u2019t tell the difference between something that\u2019s actually happening and something that you\u2019re imagining.

You feel it in your body either way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed, exhausted, and drained from solving problems that don\u2019t even currently exist\u2014Bananas!

And when I was spending all my energy worrying, do you know what I wasn\u2019t doing? 

I wasn\u2019t spending any time creating and executing an action plan to manifest my dreams! My subconscious mind did a fantastic job keeping me \u201cbusy\u201d in a disastrous world of pretend\u2014fretting and solving imaginary problems!

My primal brain made sure I wasn\u2019t utilizing my superpowers\u2014my unique gifts and talents\u2014It held me back, living the narrative of my limiting beliefs.

Clever, right?

But once I developed awareness, I was finally able to free myself from the \u201cWorry Trap.\u201d

And you can too!

If you\u2019re finding your subconscious mind working overtime\u2014creating stories of worry and fear\u2014then the following exercise can help you clean up your thoughts and finally set youself free:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. When you notice yourself worrying, take the time to write your thoughts down\u2014all of them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Next, write a \u201cstatement of self-compassion\u201d and coach yourself: Comfort and give yourself permission to release the thoughts that have been haunting you. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    It might sound something like this. . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My friend, these thoughts feel heavy.  They\u2019ve really been weighing you down, haven\u2019t they? What if you let them go, for now?  You deserve to live in the present\u2014and not to miss out on the beauty of today. You don\u2019t have to take on the future all at once, there are so many unknown variables that you can\u2019t control anyway. But you do know the next step you can take towards your goals. What if you only focused on that next step today?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Then, offer your brain some new thoughts: Remind yourself that you have a choice\u2014and there are plenty of other ways to talk to yourself. Take your brain off negative autopilot!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Here are a few examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n