{"id":5934,"date":"2023-02-23T03:50:23","date_gmt":"2023-02-23T03:50:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/?p=5934"},"modified":"2023-02-23T14:11:54","modified_gmt":"2023-02-23T14:11:54","slug":"theres-no-shame-in-carin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/theres-no-shame-in-carin\/","title":{"rendered":"There’s No Shame in Carin’"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Life Coaching Tip: As women, it takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning of the patriarchy meant to keep us quiet and small. But it\u2019s absolutely possible to begin replacing old limiting beliefs with new beliefs that help us own our thrones and share our light with the world!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

____________<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s a weird thing to admit…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve had the idea for this story for quite some time now, but I\u2019ve been avoiding it.

I became curious about this today, and I asked myself \u201cwhy?\u201d.

Sadly, I think it\u2019s because I STILL have some shame coming up about it \u2013 very mixed emotions.

And so, this is precisely why I\u2019ve decided to write it. 

Because I know, for sure, what I\u2019m feeling is common for so many women.

And it\u2019s my hope that if you can relate, you\u2019ll know you\u2019re not alone and will feel empowered to move through your discomfort and allow yourself to use your voice, take up space and fully show up in the world.

Here it is\u2026<\/em>

It was late in the spring of 2020, and my husband, Jerry, and I were struggling to find new, fun, AND safe things to do, thanks to the pandemic. 

Boating seemed to be the perfect solution, and so when we learned our friends were selling their pleasure boat, we took it as a sign to forge ahead with our plans.

And it really was a lot of fun! There were so many new things to learn that were both interesting and challenging (in a good way), and being out on the gorgeous waters of Lake Erie that summer was both relaxing and delightful!

However, maintaining a safe distance from people during the height of the pandemic still proved to be a problem at times.  Our boat was stored in an indoor rack facility at the marina, and the friendly dock workers there seemed to not have gotten the memo about social distancing.

And the restroom facilities at the marina were cramped and tight.

Fortunately, though, there was a mask mandate in place that helped me feel comfortable about using the facilities \u2013 a necessity after having a cocktail or two on the lake!

And so, this is where my story takes place\u2026<\/em>

One lazy August afternoon, before heading out for an excursion on the water, I slipped on my face mask and hurried into the restroom at the marina for a quick potty break.

As I was washing my hands, a young woman, likely in her mid-teens, came out of a bathroom stall and was coughing like crazy.  Unfortunately, she was not wearing a mask.

I hurried to finish washing my hands, but as she came closer- still hacking away- there was no way for me to move away from the germs she was sharing with me in that tight space.  And so, I politely (but firmly) asked her to back up to a safer distance and put her mask on \u2013 as per the marina\u2019s policy for patrons in the indoor restroom areas.

Welp, she was not happy with my request and let me know it.

\u201cYeah, my mom\u2019s a nurse and I know all about covid. But I\u2019m not sick, so mind your business, Karen!\u201d

And with that, she hurriedly left the bathroom, back to her parent\u2019s boat on the dock.

Whoa! I was stunned at the disrespect but did not hesitate for a minute; I quickly dried my hands and followed after her!

Jerry was waiting for me outside the door, and when I rushed past him, he tried to stop me to see what was happening.   He\u2019s seen that look in my eyes before and wanted to slow me down \u2013 but I wasn\u2019t having it!

Once at the dock, I saw the young woman climb on board her parent\u2019s boat where they were waiting. Our boat was docked just ahead of theirs.

I stopped at the family\u2019s boat and addressed the young woman, who looked slightly horrified.

\u201cExcuse me, but I want to properly introduce myself,\u201d I said. \u201cMy name is Tracy Baranauskas, not Karen.\u201d

I went on\u2026<\/em>

\u201cI know you meant it as an insult, but I want you to know that I\u2019m taking it as a compliment. My name\u2019s not Karen, but I am a carin\u2019 person, who not only stands up for my own well-being, but yours and everyone else\u2019s too.\u201d

The young woman and her parents just stared at me, and no one spoke.

After an awkward few more moments of silence, Jerry, who had come up behind me, nodded over to our boat and we hopped aboard.

It was then that Jerry grinned and whispered, \u201cMaybe we should reconsider having the name of your coaching business on the back of our boat?!\u201d

We both burst out laughing! 

Yes, it\u2019s true, our boat is called \u201cMoving Forward,\u201d and I was proudly announcing my full name as I told a teenager off on the busy dock at the marina!

Not the best advertisement for a life coach, I suppose.

Later, I spent time in reflection \u2013 wondering about why being called \u201cKaren\u201d triggered me like that and sparked such an intense reaction. I also was curious about the embarrassment that was coming up for me. 

It wasn\u2019t that big of a deal, really \u2013 but why didn\u2019t I want anyone to know about it?

Shame.<\/em>

But what did I think I\u2019d be judged for? Being too opinionated? Too reactionary? Too sensitive?

I wasn\u2019t sure, but I knew this all felt rather familiar \u2013 a lifetime pattern, in fact.

I was feeling both \u201cnot good enough\u201d and \u201ctoo much\u201d \u2013 all at the same time.

When this came up for a client a few days later, I was able to gain even more clarity about what was likely happening \u2013 for both of us.

My client, who is an incredible human being, told me about the self-judgement, mind-drama, and subsequent shame she felt after standing up for herself when her integrity was questioned during a meeting at work.

She is a talented professional, who was completely within her rights; and she firmly stood her ground.

In the moment, she felt proud of herself for showing up in a way that aligned with her values and self-respect, but then\u2026

\u201cI started second-guessing myself, and I felt embarrassed.  I think I might have been overly emotional, too much, and probably should have let it go,\u201d she said.  \u201cI mean, I don\u2019t want to be a Karen!\u201d

Ah, there it was!<\/em>

This opened the door for a candid conversation with my client that helped her challenge some of the long-held beliefs that had been holding her back. These beliefs were keeping her from fully stepping into her power and authentically sharing her light with the world.

Can you relate to any of this?<\/em>

Do you have moments when you allow yourself to speak up and fully shine\u2013 only to later drown in self-doubt, judgment, and shame?<\/em>

If so, clearly sister, you are not alone \u2013 and these conflicting feelings are likely due to a lifetime of cultural conditioning designed to keep you quiet and small.

As a life coach for women<\/a>, I\u2019m passionate about helping my clients break free from the taming of the patriarchy.

Yet, admittedly, I\u2019m still a work in progress.

One snide comment from a teenager at the boat dock sent me backwards into a shame-storm, fearing that I might have been too loud, too bossy, too easily offended \u2026

With this new awareness, came self-compassion and a decision not to further beat myself up and perpetuate the shame.  And that\u2019s what I\u2019m encouraging you to do too, my friend.

It takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning meant to keep us restrained and silent. But it\u2019s absolutely possible to begin replacing old, limiting beliefs with ones that help us share our light with the world!

And so, let\u2019s start with this \u201cKaren\u201d B.S, shall we?

Let\u2019s stop participating in the stereotyping designed to disempower us.

Let\u2019s not participate in using or tolerating a word used to stereotype women who speak up for their beliefs, even if you don\u2019t agree with what they have to say.  (And by all means, use your voice to disagree \u2013 just not to shame another woman for being \u201ctoo much\u201d or \u201cdemanding beyond the scope of what is normal\u201d \u2013 seriously, Wikipedia!)

This is important, sister.

Let\u2019s go out of our way to encourage one another and make the world feel safer for each of us to contribute, stand out, and shine!

PS \u2013 After a moment of badassery, if you do feel yourself falling backwards, like I did, and the shame-storm starts kicking in\u2026  Hear my voice in your head: \u201cThere\u2019s no shame in carin\u2019!\u201d and own your throne, my friend!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Life Coaching Tip: As women, it takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning of the patriarchy meant to keep us quiet and small. But it\u2019s absolutely possible to begin replacing old limiting beliefs with new beliefs that help us own our thrones and share our light with the world! ____________ Here’s a …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5927,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896.jpg",1231,1245,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-297x300.jpg",297,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-768x777.jpg",768,777,true],"large":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1012x1024.jpg",1012,1024,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896.jpg",1231,1245,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896.jpg",1231,1245,false],"banner":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1231x533.jpg",1231,533,true],"section":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1231x900.jpg",1231,900,true],"full-width":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1231x832.jpg",1231,832,true],"featured":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-800x600.jpg",800,600,true],"one-half":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-550x413.jpg",550,413,true],"one-third":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-350x263.jpg",350,263,true],"one-fourth":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-260x195.jpg",260,195,true],"tiny":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-80x80.jpg",80,80,true],"ab-block-post-grid-landscape":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"ab-block-post-grid-square":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-600x600.jpg",600,600,true]},"post_excerpt_stackable":"

Life Coaching Tip: As women, it takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning of the patriarchy meant to keep us quiet and small. But it\u2019s absolutely possible to begin replacing old limiting beliefs with new beliefs that help us own our thrones and share our light with the world! ____________ Here’s a weird thing to admit… I\u2019ve had the idea for this story for quite some time now, but I\u2019ve been avoiding it.I became curious about this today, and I asked myself \u201cwhy?\u201d.Sadly, I think it\u2019s because I STILL have some shame coming up about it \u2013…<\/p>\n","category_list":"Uncategorized<\/a>","author_info":{"display_name":"Tracy Baranauskas","author_link":"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/author\/tracy\/"},"comments_num":"0 comments","featured_image_urls_v2":{"full":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896.jpg",1231,1245,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-297x300.jpg",297,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-768x777.jpg",768,777,true],"large":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1012x1024.jpg",1012,1024,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896.jpg",1231,1245,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896.jpg",1231,1245,false],"banner":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1231x533.jpg",1231,533,true],"section":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1231x900.jpg",1231,900,true],"full-width":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-1231x832.jpg",1231,832,true],"featured":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-800x600.jpg",800,600,true],"one-half":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-550x413.jpg",550,413,true],"one-third":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-350x263.jpg",350,263,true],"one-fourth":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-260x195.jpg",260,195,true],"tiny":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-80x80.jpg",80,80,true],"ab-block-post-grid-landscape":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"ab-block-post-grid-square":["https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/IMG_20200808_180311896-600x600.jpg",600,600,true]},"post_excerpt_stackable_v2":"

Life Coaching Tip: As women, it takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning of the patriarchy meant to keep us quiet and small. But it\u2019s absolutely possible to begin replacing old limiting beliefs with new beliefs that help us own our thrones and share our light with the world! ____________ Here’s a weird thing to admit… I\u2019ve had the idea for this story for quite some time now, but I\u2019ve been avoiding it.I became curious about this today, and I asked myself \u201cwhy?\u201d.Sadly, I think it\u2019s because I STILL have some shame coming up about it \u2013…<\/p>\n","category_list_v2":"Uncategorized<\/a>","author_info_v2":{"name":"Tracy Baranauskas","url":"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/author\/tracy\/"},"comments_num_v2":"0 comments","yoast_head":"\nThere's No Shame in Carin'<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As women, it takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning of the patriarchy - but it's past time that we do!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/movingforwardcoaching.com\/theres-no-shame-in-carin\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"There's No Shame in Carin'\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As women, it takes insight, intention, and courage to unravel the systemic conditioning of the patriarchy - 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