Life Coaching Tip: This article is about another insidious way we hold ourselves back from being the biggest, brightest, badassiest version of ourselves—the “Busy Trap!” As women, it can be easy to get stuck inside this trap. Please read on. . . and tell your primal brain I said, “sorry, not sorry!” for shining a light of awareness on its trickery!
Is this you? . . . .
When people ask you how you’re doing, you say, “Good, but busy!”
And then you go on to tell them all the things you’re busy doing.
So many things!
Sometimes you secretly hope they’ll be impressed by all you’ve got going on, but you also hope they won’t ask you to do something for them. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, and you have no room on your schedule to add anything else.
The pace you are keeping is grueling, and you often feel lost in the grind. So many people have put demands on you—yet you can’t seem to say no to any of them.
Instead, you hustle even more, and bump everything off your to-do list that you know would help you to feel better . . . like going for a run, preparing a healthy meal, taking a quiet moment to reflect on your goals, getting some sleep, doing something creative or even fun.
Fun? You don’t even remember what that feels like anymore!
There is absolutely no time for fun.
You’re already scheduled so tightly that you’re emotionally and physically exhausted.
From the time you open your eyes in the morning —before you even get out of bed—you already feel behind and not good enough.
And one little blip in your schedule can make you lose your shit!
How do other women do it all so well?
What’s wrong with me? Why is it so hard for me to keep up?
And then you hustle even more, trying to redeem yourself. There’s no end in sight! You feel powerless, like you have no choice, no other options.
You think: Maybe I’ll have time to do things for myself someday—and that’s about all the consideration you give the situation.
Sister, pardon me for shouting, but . . . .
YOUR LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW!
If you don’t start making changes in your life today, “someday” will never arrive.
Your subconscious mind will make sure that you’re so distracted by the busy work of the day, that you’ll lose sight of what’s important to you—for reals!
And this tactic concocted by your primal brain is sinister—because it’s massively reinforced by our patriarchal culture that equates a woman’s “busyness” with success.
The memo from the patriarchy to women is clear—it’s virtuous to be selfless and put everyone else’s needs, desires, and dreams ahead of our own. We strive to live up to other people’s expectations—to the point that we can no longer even hear the callings of our heart.
In her book, “How to Get Sh*t Done: Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything,” author Erin Falconer sums it up nicely:
“If we continue to pursue productivity for productivity’s sake, women will continue to position ourselves diametrically opposed to satisfaction. You may feel like the most productive person alive, but without a purpose, you’re just busy.”
So how can you get yourself on your “to-do” list and make room for the things that make you feel healthy, happy, and fulfilled?
A simple solution is to create goals for yourself that light you up, and then to revisit them DAILY.
This can be a game changer, so please don’t allow it to be the thing that you scrap the minute life gets hectic!
Why? Well, the main reason people don’t achieve their goals is because they forget they have goals.
Seriously, think about your own patterns. I’m sure you’ve created lots of goals for yourself over the course of your lifetime that were eventually pushed to the wayside once new challenges demanded your attention.
The key to success is having a daily practice of reviewing your goals and visualizing how you’ll feel once you’ve achieved them. Keep your eyes on the prize and feel it, sister!
And keep it simple! Your primal brain will want to make it complicated to send you into overwhelm lickety-split—so don’t fall for that nonsense!
Create three main goals—ONLY THREE— one for each of the following areas of growth: career, personal, and health.
Make them measurable and decide on a target date. Be specific.
Then, in addition to your daily review, create a practice of writing out a weekly action plan that consists of one step forward for each of your goals. Make these steps small, straightforward, and manageable.
You’re an over-achiever, and you’ll want to make them big and complicated, so be aware that this is another ruse of your primal brain.
Consistently taking practical strides forward will get you to your goal—while going for massive leaps over time will burn you out and set you up for failure—slowing down your momentum, enthusiasm, and focus.
You’ll get distracted and “busy, busy, busy,” and soon your plan will become a distant memory.
I know I’m repeating here . . . but keep it simple!
Even if you’ve given up on your goals and desires in the past, I hope I’ve inspired you to get back in the game.
You only have this one precious life.
Forgive me for repeating once more . . . .
YOUR LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW!
If you don’t start making changes in your life today, “someday” will never arrive!