Life Coaching Tip: The words you choose create your emotions, and your emotions inspire your actions that determine your results. The next time your brain is turning you into a drama queen in an attempt to stop you from moving forward, perhaps you can just take the intensity of your words down a notch...
I can see it in my mind like it was yesterday…
It was my daughter, Shannon’s, fourth birthday, and we were celebrating with a bunch of her friends from preschool at the Farm Park.
After we had been exploring for a few hours, I said to the kids, “Hey everyone, you must be starving. How about we head over to get some lunch?”
It was then that a little guy, named Jacob, set me straight.
“Mrs. Baranauskas, starving means you haven’t eaten food for more than a week. I don’t think anyone here is starving.”
He said this not in a sassy pants way, but with a very matter-of-fact tone, clearly trying to educate me. I caught my husband’s eye, and we tried not to giggle.
Instead, I smiled at the little cutie pie and respectfully made the correction.
“You are right Jacob, my apologies,” I said. “I’ll bet everyone is hungry. Does that sound more appropriate?”
He nodded his head in approval.
That was more than 20 years ago, and still to this day, if someone in my house uses the word “starving”, we remind them of Jacob’s sage advice.
Someone had schooled Jacob well about the value of word choice, and I appreciated him helping me to cut the drama.
This story came up last week when I was encouraging a client to do the same, and so I thought I’d share it with you.
My client told me she was feeling “terrified” about taking the next steps towards a career change.
“Terrified?” I asked her. “I’m wondering if your primal brain is trying to freak you out by being all dramatic. Is it possible that you’re really just uneasy because you’re trying something new?”
She agreed that it was quite possible and seemed to relax into the thought. We then discussed why it’s sometimes necessary to take the intensity down a notch.
Well, because the words we choose create our emotions, and our emotions inspire our actions that determine our results.
And so, when my client was thinking about her career change as being “terrifying,” she wanted to run the other way fast!
But when she took down the intensity just a notch, she was able to accept her uneasy feelings as natural and process through them as she moved forward towards her goals.
And so, the next time your primal brain is turning you into a drama queen in an attempt to stop you from moving forward, and you’re not in the mood to reframe your whole story, perhaps you can just take the intensity down a notch.
You might go from “exhausted” to “tired,” “mortified” to “uncomfortable,” “furious” to “annoyed,” or “miserable” to “blue.”
You get the idea.
Just a slight shift in intensity can make all the difference if you’re feeling stuck.
For me, I just picture my little friend, Jacob, whispering in my ear whenever my primal brain tries to pull the fire alarm.
“Mrs. Baranauskas, I don’t really think you’re devastated. It sounds more like you’re disappointed.”
“Yes, Jacob, my friend, you’re so right. And it’s time to soldier on!”
PS: Feeling stuck? I can help you move forward faster. Check out my private coaching page here to learn more.