Life Coaching Tip: The words you choose create your emotions, and your emotions inspire your actions that determine your results. The next time your brain is turning you into a drama queen in an attempt to stop you from progressing, try taking the intensity of your words down a notch to get yourself moving forward again .
I can see it in my mind like it was yesterday.
It was my daughter, Shannon’s, fourth birthday, and we were celebrating with a group of her preschool friends at the Farm Park.
After exploring for a few hours, I said to the kids, “Hey everyone, you must be starving! How about we head over to get some lunch?”
It was then that a little guy, named Jacob, set me straight.
He said,“Mrs. Baranauskas, starving means you haven’t eaten food for more than a week. I don’t think anyone here is starving.”
Jacob did not say this in a sassy pants way, but with a very matter-of-fact tone, clearly trying to educate me. I caught my husband’s eye, and we tried not to giggle.
Instead, I smiled at the little cutie pie and respectfully made the correction.
“You are right Jacob, my apologies,” I said. “I’ll bet everyone is hungry. Does that sound more appropriate?”
He nodded his head in approval.
That was more than 20 years ago, and still to this day, if someone in our family says they are “starving”, we remind them of Jacob’s sage advice.
His parents clearly had taught him about the importance of word choice, and I appreciated Jacob’s reminder to cut the drama.
This story came up last week when I was encouraging a client to do the same, and so I thought you might appreciate the reminder too.
My client told me she was feeling “terrified” about taking the next steps towards a career change.
“Terrified?” I questioned.“I wonder if your primal brain is trying to freak you out by being dramatic. Is it possible that you’re really just feeling ‘uneasy’ because you’re trying something new?”
She agreed that this was a possibility and relaxed into the thought. We then discussed why it’s sometimes necessary to take the intensity of the words we choose down a notch.
Well, because the words we choose create our emotions, and our emotions inspire our actions that determine our results.
So, when my client was thinking about her career change as being “terrifying,” she felt it in her body and was paralyzed with fear—struggling to take even the tiniest of steps.
But when she took down the emotional intensity just a notch, she was able to accept her uneasy feelings as natural and process through them as she moved forward towards her goals.
Please keep this in mind the next time your primal brain tries to stop you from moving forward by trying to turn you into a drama queen. Even if you’re not in the mood to reframe your whole story, you still have the option to take the emotional intensity down a notch.
You can go from “exhausted” to “tired” – “mortified” to “embarrassed” – “furious” to “annoyed” – “shocked” to “surprised” – and “miserable” to “sad”.
You get the idea.
Just a slight shift in emotional intensity can make all the difference if you’re feeling stuck.
For me, I just picture my little friend, Jacob, whispering in my ear whenever things don’t go my way and my primal brain tries to pull the fire alarm. . .
Mrs. Baranauskas, I don’t really think you’re defeated. It sounds more like you’re merely disappointed, and that’s natural. But now it’s time to soldier on!
PS: Feeling stuck? I can help you develop the mindset to move yourself forward faster. Check out my private coaching page here to learn more.