Life Coaching Tip: If you’ve ever said, “I don’t know what I want,” but deep down felt the pull for more—this article is for you. I’m sharing a breakthrough moment from my latest round of coaching with Jen Sincero that sheds light on why so many high-achieving women stay stuck in confusion. The truth is, going after big dreams requires more than drive—it takes emotional capacity. In this post, I’ll show you what that means, why it matters, and how you can start building it today.
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It’s no secret to anyone who knows me: I’m obsessed with Jen Sincero, author of the Badass book series. I’ve enrolled in her group coaching program three times—and each round has gifted me invaluable insight and growth. I’ve even had the privilege of being personally coached by her during each experience.
Now in our third round, something Jen said swiftly grabbed my attention:
When we say, “I’m not happy in my life, but I don’t know what the hell I want,” what we really mean is, “I don’t think what I want is possible, because I’m not capable of accomplishing it.” (And because we don’t want to settle, we remain stuck in confusion and overwhelm.)
This wisdom made so much sense to me—not only do I see it with my clients, but I’ve also lived it.
And based on years of coaching high-achieving women, I’d take it one step further: deep down, many of us fear we won’t be able to handle the disappointment, shame, or vulnerability that might come with failure or rejection.
So instead, we play it safe. We stay in the comfort zone. We convince ourselves we “don’t know” what we want.
And this is where I come in.
To go after bold dreams, you need more than ambition—you need the emotional capacity to support them. Because rejection, risk, and discomfort? They’re part of the process. I help my clients expand their emotional capacity, so they feel safe to dream bigger, reach higher, and go for the gold.
So, what is emotional capacity? It’s the ability to hold and navigate challenging emotions and circumstances without becoming emotionally unregulated. It’s the ability to sit with emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability and let them move through us, rather than numb, shut down, or retreat.
Emotional burnout often comes from resisting our emotions or harsh self-judgment. That’s why I teach my clients to feel their feelings and treat themselves with compassion as they grow. From there, we work together to identify and shift the thoughts that are feeding their fear—building both emotional resilience and capacity.
If any part of this message hits home—if you’ve ever worried that you “can’t handle” the vulnerability that comes with playing big—I want to gently encourage you to turn inward. Explore the thoughts creating that fear and redirect your energy toward your desires and your capability to bring them to life.
To help you stay connected to your inner power, here are some of my favorite Emotional Power Up Thoughts—words to support your emotional expansion and inspire you as you dare to manifest your wildest aspirations:
- I am built for every dream in my heart.
- I can feel uneasy with change and still move forward. Expansion is the reward.
- I have the capacity for this really hard emotion.
- I am someone who can handle this.
- I am feeling ____________ (sad, vulnerable, rejected, scared, etc.), and I can hold this feeling for as long as necessary to process through it.
- I choose this, and I am safe to feel this emotion.
- This emotion is only part of the whole story—I can’t see the full truth when I’m deep in it.
- This feeling will pass if I allow it.
- It’s safe for me to overflow with __________ (energy, love, gratitude, enthusiasm)!
- I am breaking generational patterns—and I will be kind to myself along the way.
You are more capable than you think, my friend. You are stronger than you feel. And your dreams are waiting for you. So go ahead, feel your feels, stand tall, and take the next brave step.
The vision for your life that lights you up is on the other side. Go for it, sister!
xo Tracy
PS: Ready to stop playing small? You’ve hustled, achieved, and checked all the boxes —but deep down, you know there’s something missing. You’re ready for more. More meaning. More fulfillment. More freedom. More you. My private life coaching program is for those ready to stop performing and start living. It offers all the support, guidance, and inspiration you need to thrive. Book your complimentary consultation today, and let’s chat about making your grandest vision for your life come true!
Power Up Thoughts to Expand Your Mental Capacity