“I Don’t Know”: An Unhelpful Thought that Will Keep You Stuck

Life Coaching Tip: When you say, “I don’t know”, it stops you in your tracks. You can’t move forward because you don’t know how to do the thing, or what direction to go in, or what option would be best. So, you might do nothing. And this can sometimes be for years. If you want to break this pattern, learn how here…

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I set aside some time last Tuesday to compose this blog, but then I struggled to come up with something to write about.

“I just don’t know what topic to focus on,” I thought, as my mind went blank.

Throughout the week as I tried to come up with something interesting, my thoughts would spin out in confusion.

Again, I thought, “I just don’t know.” And although I would consider some ideas, I would overthink and dismiss them due to uncertainty.

It took me a few days, but eventually, I realized what I was doing.

“Oh my gosh,” I thought.  “Of course, if I keep telling myself, ‘I don’t know’, I will believe myself, and my mind will stay muddled in confusion and indecision.”

So then, I decided to take a new approach.  I ditched the “I don’t know” thought, even though it felt very real to me.

Instead, I reflected on answering a question that I asked myself as I went on my morning walk: “If I did know, what possibilities would I explore?”

Ah, now there’s a question that invited in creative thoughts.

Ta-da! It was the perfect thought that led to the ideas that inspired this newsletter!

“I don’t know” is a phrase I encourage my clients to let go of because it doesn’t serve them.

Do you ever say things like?

• I want to change careers, but I don’t know what I want to do.
• I want to start a business, but I don’t even know where to begin.
• I want to lose weight, but I don’t know which diet/workout plan would work for my lifestyle.
• I don’t know what makes me happy anymore.
• I want to start dating, but I don’t know where to meet a potential partner.
• I want to earn more money, but I don’t know how.

If so, I’m not surprised because spinning out in confusion is one strategy our brain uses to keep us from treading too far outside of our comfort zone.

When we say, “I don’t know”, it stops us in our tracks.

We can’t move forward because we don’t know how to do the thing, or what direction to go in, or what option would be best.

So, we do nothing. And this can sometimes be for years!

I’m wondering, how often do you tell yourself, “I don’t know”?

Is this holding you back from making important changes in your life?

How long has this been going on?

If you are ready to move forward, here are some things you can ask yourself instead:

• If I did know, what would I say?
• What are my options
• What is the first step I can take?

Now when I first suggest this to my clients, they often say, “But Tracy, I REALLY don’t know.”

However, when I don’t accept their answer, they ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS direct their minds to look for the answer.

This will help you too, my friend.

The answer is always inside of you, but you have to look for it.

Don’t believe yourself when you think, “I don’t know.” That’s just your primitive brain trying to keep you safe by avoiding change at all costs.

But you were meant to live a fulfilled life, not to hibernate in your comfort zone.

It’s time to explore your options.

Now go do that thing.

(And yes, you DO know what I am talking about!)

PS – If you are ready to move forward and would like to learn more about mastering your mindset, I can help with that. Let’s connect and talk about life coaching together!