Life Coaching Tip: In this post, I introduce “mirror work,” a practice that can profoundly impact your sense of self-worth. Although it may feel very uncomfortable for you at first, you can gently ease your way into it by being light and playful. If this still feels icky for you, it’s even more of a reason to give it a go! It will be worth it. Increased self-love and compassion will be your reward!
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I want to continue the conversation of cultivating self-worth today by introducing you to another powerful practice called mirror work. It may sound oh, so simple—or even a bit strange—but it has the potential to profoundly shift your relationship with yourself.
What Is Mirror Work?
I first discovered mirror work years ago through Louise Hay’s classic book You Can Heal Your Life. Hay—who is the OG of all things self-love and affirmations—recommends looking at yourself in the mirror to quiet your inner critic and strengthen your love and connection within yourself.
As a start, she suggests looking directly into your own eyes in the mirror and saying:
“I love and accept you exactly as you are.”
If this sounds intense, know that it sure can be. For some people, this can bring up strong emotions: resistance, sadness, or even anger. If that’s your experience, you’re not alone.
When that affirmation feels like too much, Hay recommends starting with something softer, like:
“I am willing to change.”
From there, she encourages journaling about what resistance still might be coming up. Ask yourself:
“Why don’t I want to change?”
Honestly answering this question alone can open doors to healing. Often, resistance is just a signal that something deeper needs to be witnessed, understood, and nurtured.
My Experience (and My Clients’)
Personally, I’ve found mirror work to be transformative—not just for me, but for many of my clients, too. That said, not everyone is an immediate fan.
Over the years, I’ve coached women who were horrified by the idea of such nonsensery! From outright refusal to genuine sadness, the struggle is real.
But this is so important to understand: The stronger your resistance, the more likely this is exactly the work your heart is craving.
And if that’s you, know this—you don’t have to dive in all at once. You can move at a slower, gentler pace.
Making It Work For You
Early in my coaching practice, I worked with a woman who couldn’t look herself in the mirror without crying. Saying anything kind to herself felt nearly impossible.
Of course, this brought up all kinds of resistance for her. I mean, who wants to do an exercise that feels painful and difficult?
So, we shifted the intention. Instead of affirmations, I encouraged her to simply acknowledge and praise herself for any meaningful effort she put forth during her day. This worked like a charm.
Her mirror moments started sounding like this:
- “Great job pushing your run an extra half mile this morning.”
- “So cool how you patiently took the time to mentor that young colleague today.”
- “Wow, you spoke up in that meeting even though you were terrified—total badass!”
Eventually, she was able to look at herself and say:
“[Her name], I am open to seeing the good in you.”
And finally:
“[Her name], I see you. I believe in you. I love you.”
That’s the power of persistence, self-compassion, and self-love.
Make It Playful
One of my favorite adaptations of this practice came from my dear friend and former client, Tam. With a twinkle in her eye, she told me how she started small—just a quick “hi” in the mirror as she passed by.
Then came the light, playful add-ons:
- “You’re cute.”
- “You’re cool.”
- Eventually: “I love you!”
Tam kept it playful and quick—in and out before her inner critic could crash the party.
If mirror work feels awkward or uncomfortable to you, that’s okay. I encourage you to go lighter. Try Tam’s approach and keep it gentle and fun.
But whatever you do—don’t skip it altogether.
You are worthy of the peace, love, and liberation that live on the other side of your resistance.
You are so much more than your flaws and imperfections, my friend.
You deserve to see the wholeness of who you are—your true magnificence.
That’s when the real transformation begins.
xo Tracy
PS: Want support as you navigate this journey towards a radical sense of self-worth? Private coaching offers a safe, compassionate space to explore the fears, resistance, and beautiful possibilities that come with this work. Learn how to join here: https://movingforwardcoaching.com/moving-forward-life-coaching-private-coaching/
Reclaiming Self-Worth