Life Coaching Tip: It doesn’t have to be a struggle or take forever to begin building self-confidence. Here are five more tips to help you release your insecurities, step into your power, and be the boss of your brain. Every area of your life will improve once you embrace your own magnificence. So don’t wait another moment, get started today!
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In my last post, I offered you some tips to help you begin to strengthen your confidence muscle. And today, I am continuing the conversation with five more tips to help you kick your fears and self-doubt to the curb and step into your badassery.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be hard or take a lifetime to begin to build self-confidence. The following practices will help you get started TODAY!
Affirmations
Positive affirmations sometimes catch a lot of flak (looking at you, Stewart Smalley from SNL!), but they work. They are especially effective when used to challenge negative or inaccurate thinking, which is what most self-talk is all about.
Our human brain has a negative bias, so our thoughts naturally go to worst case scenarios, self-doubt, and fear—and often linger there.
It takes awareness and intention to stop ourselves and turn things around.
Why is this important? Well, because our thoughts ignite our feelings which inspire our actions which create our results. So, if you don’t like the direction your life is heading in or the way you’re feeling, affirmations are a great way to begin to shift.
The simplest way to start is to write a series of I AM statements that describe what you want to be, do, have, or feel. For instance, “I am brave,” or “I am a creative thinker.”
You can also begin your affirmations with words such as: I KNOW, I HAVE, I DESERVE, or I LOVE. For example, “I know I won’t stop until I reach my goal weight,” or “I have the skills and talent needed to do the job right, “ or “I deserve to be treated with love and respect,” or “I love the feeling of financial freedom!”
Finally, write your affirmations in a positive way and focus on what you want, rather than what you are trying to avoid or eliminate from your life.
Once you figure out which affirmations you need to hear the most, repeat them daily in your head, in the shower, in your car, anytime you have a moment alone. Write them on Post-it notes and stick them around your house and keep a list with you when you are on the go. Repeat them at least three times a day, especially first thing in the morning and right before bed.
You are talking to yourself all day, every day, anyhow – so why not speak with intention and say things that increase your self-confidence and inspire you?
Stay in Your Lane
This is your journey, and it is unique to you! Others have a different path, different goals, different values, different biology, different hang-ups, different challenges, etc. When you compare their benchmarks to yours, you might find yourself suddenly dissatisfied with your progress—even though it has nothing to do with theirs.
Sister! What you bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared!
Comparison is all about conformity and competition. In her book, “Gifts of Imperfection,” author Brene Brown says the cultural comparison mandate can become a crushing paradox of “fit in and stand out.” It’s not about cultivating self-acceptance, belonging, and authenticity. It’s about: Be just like everyone else, but better.
Brown reminds us that the only unique contribution that you will ever make in this world will be born of your creativity. As long as you are creating, you are cultivating meaning for your life.
DO YOU, my friend. No one does her better!
Celebrate Your Wins
Because of your brain’s negative bias, you may find yourself counting your losses at the end of each day—taking note of your failures, the things you didn’t get done from your to-do list, the things you should have said differently, etc.
And once again, keeping in mind that your thoughts create your results, intentionally redirecting your mind to your wins can make all the difference in the way you feel and the outcomes you manifest for yourself.
I encourage my clients to create the habit of writing down 3 of their top wins at the end of each day and review them weekly. To help hold them accountable to this practice, the members of my Shine On program report their top 3 wins each week to the group.
You can start this practice today. Celebrate your wins. All of them, no matter how small, and see your self-confidence soar!
Just DO IT!
If you have a desire in your heart, chances are there’s a part of you that KNOWS you are capable of realizing it. We often trick ourselves into thinking that we must feel confident before we do the thing, but it actually works the other way around.
If you’re reaching higher than you’ve ever reached before, you are going to feel scared. That’s just part of being human. To build self-confidence, you must feel the fear and move forward anyways. Badassery always results in rock solid self-confidence.
Zoom Out
If you’re getting stuck in the weeds, worried about the details and fearful of the “what ifs,” then it’s time to embrace a more expansive view. Remind yourself of this fact: You are a spiritual being and your dreams were given to you for a reason. Ground yourself in this energy by meditating and aligning with your highest self.
Your highest self knows the value of your dreams, and she believes in you and your ability to manifest them. Let her lead the charge. She is mission focused and does not sweat the small stuff!
I sincerely hope you take these practices to heart and give them a go in the coming weeks. They are tried and true, and I promise you will be rewarded for your efforts.
Change and growth require awareness and intentional action. If you want to cultivate self-confidence, then you’ve got to direct your brain to thoughts and emotions that better serve you.
You’ve got this, mama!
Step into your power and be the BOSS of your brain.
I’m excited for you and all that you will manifest for yourself once you do!
xo Tracy
Cultivating Confidence (Part One)