Creating Sufficiency

Life Coaching Tip: If you were to ask me the number one thought or belief that blocks my clients from fully embracing all the joy and fulfillment life has to offer, I would say, without a doubt, it’s the thought of being not enough. Is this you? This article provides practical tips on how to create more feelings of sufficiency in your life.

_______________

In her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” the ever-so-wise author, Brene Brown writes: “Whether true or not, the thought of not enough, occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it.  Before we even sit up in bed, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.”

Oh, sister! For much of my life, this was definitely something I could relate to.

Not successful enough, not intelligent enough, not pretty enough, not popular enough, not thin enough, not a good enough mom, wife, friend, daughter . . . and it went on and on and on.

Sadly, this not enoughness caused me to hustle for worthiness to the point of exhaustion.

And, as you might imagine, this led to an endless cycle of grinding productivity, stress, lackluster achievement, anxiety, self-doubt, and discontent.

It wasn’t until I made the decision to finally deal with my thoughts and feelings of not enoughness and intentionally focus my thoughts and feel into sufficiency that things began to shift.

If you’re wondering what I mean by sufficiency, author Lynne Twist, in the book “The Soul of Money,” explains it well: “(Sufficiency) is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and we are enough. Sufficiency resides inside of each of us, and we can call it forward. It is a consciousness, an attention, an intentional choosing of the way we think about our circumstance.”

Why is this important?

Well, first, to stop the relentless pattern of striving for something  unobtainable. When our premise is not enough we truly feel this in our bones, and it feels defeating and hopeless.

And second, to let go of the scarcity mindset of not enoughness, so we can feel good NOW and attract more joy and fulfillment into our lives. I mean, isn’t that the point of all this?

Energy flows where attention goes. Like attracts like, therefore, lack attracts lack.

Both from a psychological perspective and a Law of Attraction point of view, focusing on insufficiency will naturally bring the same –scarcity and lack—right back to us.

If thoughts of not good enough haunt you, too, then know you’re not alone.

Many, many women struggle with these limiting thoughts and feelings. We live in a culture that subtly and not-so-subtly teaches young girls to stay small, quiet, and avoid taking up space. Most of us have been conditioned into not enoughness early on, and so you likely came by it honestly.

But you don’t have to stay there. Like me and so many of my clients over the years, you can release your scarcity mindset and shift to a mindset of sufficiency.

Here are a few practices to get you started:* MANTRA: Adopt this simple mantra by repeating it over and over to yourself throughout the day, especially when thoughts of not enoughness trigger you: I AM ENOUGH.

* QUESTIONS: Ask yourself the right questions and allow your brilliant mind to come up with the answers. This is one of my favorite ways to create a mindset shift because your brain loves to solve problems, you just need to direct it to places that serve you. Ask yourself questions like:

How am I enough?
Why am I enough?
How do I have enough time?
Why do I have enough money?
How do I have enough of everything I need?

* CELEBRATE YOUR WINS: Create a daily practice for yourself where you acknowledge and take count of your wins for the day. Write them out, pause, feel, and delight in your accomplishments—really let them sink in.  

If you are someone who was taught not to celebrate yourself, then this exercise is even more important for you to do. Stretch outside your comfort zone, make yourself do this, and see yourself thrive!

* CREATE A NO-JUDGEMENT ZONE: When critical or judgey thoughts come up for you of yourself or others, pause. Truly pause, and without shame, ask yourself:  

What if I knew with 100% certainty that they (or I) were doing the very best they (or I) could possibly do? How would I feel if I allowed it to be enough?

And then, allow yourself to feel at peace.

* STAY IN THE NOW AND PRACTICE GRATITUDE: When your mind wants to go to places of “If I only had __________, then I could be happy, content, safe, fulfilled, etc.,”  bring yourself back to the present. Take count of all that you’re grateful for today – NOW. Allow yourself to feel happy, content, safe, fulfilled, etc. NOW! You don’t have to wait for “someday.”

Author and spiritual leader Marianne Williamson sums this up beautifully: “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”
 
If thoughts and feelings of not enough have been blocking you, I encourage you to give these practices a try. Adopting a mindset of sufficiency can truly be a game changer!

And know that the support of a life coach can make the process of shifting easier and faster, allowing for a more powerful impact and result. If you’ve been thinking about working with a life coach, I’d be honored to help you realize your goals and dreams.

Simply schedule a complimentary consultation call at the top of the page, and let’s talk about how we can make it happen! Joy, fulfillment, happiness, and contentment are on the other side . . .