Congrats on the Calamity: Your Primal Brain Hates Change

Life Coaching Tip: Once you fully commit to changing your life, things can get a little crazy. Your subconscious mind is fully committed to keeping you safely tucked inside your comfort zone, and it will do whatever it takes to keep you from moving forward. Stay the course, no matter what. Everything is unfolding perfectly!…

“Sounds like the Big Snooze is at it again testing your new venture ha!  Congrats on the calamity, that Italian momma sure doesn’t like change, and I hope you’re feeling OK!”

That’s the message my client, podcast partner and friend, Amanda, sent me a few weeks ago, replying to the story I wrote about all the mishaps I had experienced the week of my Shine On program launch.

Now, you may be thinking… “Big Snooze”?  “Italian momma?”? “Congrats on the calamity”?  What?

But I knew exactly what Amanda was talking about and recognized her word choice as that of our favorite author’s, Jen Sincero.

I’ll tell you more…

In her book, “You are a Badass”, Sincero refers to the “Ego” as the “Big Snooze” or “BS” for short.

And, if you’ve been reading my stories for a while, it’s what I often refer to as your “primal brain”.

Basically, it’s the part of your brain that operates according to your limiting false beliefs that you acquired as a child and stored in your subconscious mind. It is fear based and reactive and is extremely committed to keeping you safely tucked inside your comfort zone.

Sincero says that it is like an overprotective Italian mother who has good intentions but will beat you over the head with her rolling pin should you venture outside into the scary unknown. It’s her job to keep you inside the familiar, risk-free zone of your present reality, and she will do whatever it takes to stop you from moving forward.

And so, what does this look like when it happens?

Well, it’s any of the many ways we sabotage ourselves from acting on our dreams, being happy and achieving success.

Often it can appear as an emotional block, where we immerse ourselves so deeply in the false scenarios of gloom and doom that we are paralyzed in fear. We’re rarely aware that these fear-based stories are coming from our own subconscious mind because our brain sees them as facts.

It might look something like this…

“I just couldn’t handle it if I followed my dream to become a professional photographer and failed.  I would just die of embarrassment if I invested all that money into equipment, and then couldn’t make a go of it. Everyone would think I was irresponsible and a little nuts.  I’m just going to have to stick with my accounting career, even though it’s soul-sucking.  At least I’ll get to have some fun when I retire in 17 years!”

Other times, we recruit others to do our dirty work. We do this by confiding in people who don’t have a history of being supportive of our dreams, and then when they hurl their fear and worry all over us, it validates our insecurities.  They may accuse us of being selfish or bananas, which once again, supports the stories of our primal brain, and justifies our desire to remain complacent and stuck.

And finally, our powerful “Big Snooze” can create chaos in our path. It can feel like the universe is conspiring against us, in its attempts to self-sabotage and keep everything as is.

That was what my week was like as I introduced my next Shine On program… car problems, broken washing machine, a fall into the dog pen that made my face look like I lost a prize fight, and more.

And, of course, I see this with my clients too. The moment they decide to up-level their current realities, their primal brain rushes in and causes all kinds of calamity.

Here are just a few things that have happened to my clients in just the past two months while in hot pursuit of their dreams…

• Jury duty
• Identity theft
• Sick children
• Computer crash
• Broken garage door
• Dog “skunked”
• Covid scare
• Neck injury while working out
• Neck injury “for no reason”
• Blown-out tire

I could list more, but you get the idea.  Once you fully commit to changing your life, things can get a little crazy.

And so, what I remind my clients (and myself) is that this is not a sign that you should stop moving forward because something has gone wrong.

Oh no, instead it’s a sign that you are shedding some of the limiting beliefs that have been holding you back, and you are moving in the right direction.

Stay the course.

As my BFF Jen Sincero says:

“Growth ain’t for weenies, but it’s nowhere near as painful as living the life you’re living right now if you’re not really going for it.

There’s nothing cooler than watching your entire reality shift into one that is the perfect expression of you.”

And so, if you’re in that place where you are finally going for it, and suddenly all hell breaks loose…

Congrats on the calamity!

You can pat yourself on the back because everything is unfolding perfectly.

I’m so happy for you!

PS: Now that you’ve committed to change, has your world turned upside down? As your coach, I will give you the support you need to stay the course.  Learn more here.