Affirmations: Intentional Words for Success

Life Coaching Tip: Affirming yourself may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you were brought up to believe that it’s arrogant to think or speak highly of yourself—but I encourage you to give it a try! As you strive to reach new heights, designing affirmations that align with your goals will help you override your limiting beliefs and create an identity and beliefs that better serve you.

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I’m chuckling as I’m writing this, but this is something I recently realized about myself . . . .

While on my morning walks, I often offer words of affirmation to the wildlife at the park.

Yep, I talk to the animals.  Thinking about it cracks me up!

I’m not sure why I do this, but I remember my dad chatting up the wildlife when I was a kid as we walked together in the woods. So, I guess, it feels natural to me.

And of course, as a life coach, affirmations are my jam.

If you’re wondering what I say to the animals, it kind of depends. I often compliment the birds on their bright, stunning colors and their beautiful songs.

And I always commend the deer for their courage when they keep eating as my pup and I approach. And then for their majestic stature as we walk by.

I remember once praising a beaver for her work ethic and tenacity as she hurriedly crossed the path in front of me carrying a load of straw in her mouth.

Clearly, I believe in the powerful energy of affirmations, whether the little critters I compliment understand my words or not.

Now, if you’re a client of mine, this is probably not news to you. I’ve likely “gone there” with you too, even if you’re not completely sold on the idea.

But the truth is many people are uncomfortable with the concept of affirmations.

Some think of that goofy SNL character, Stuart Smalley, who repeated the affirmation: “I am good enough, I am smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” Certainly, poor Stuart’s awkward personality is not the type most of us would care to emulate.

Unfortunately, many of us were brought up to believe that it’s not polite to talk favorably about ourselves—even when it’s to ourselves! We were taught that it’s pretentious and demonstrates a lack of humility.

On the other hand, it’s often considered very acceptable to talk negatively about ourselves—that this is somehow more “realistic.” And self-deprecating humor is all the rage—encouraged and even celebrated!

So, it’s no wonder that affirmations would feel uncomfortable, weird, or rude for many of us.

Recently, I heard a coaching mentor say that she doesn’t believe in affirmations.  This really surprised me because she is a mindset coach who talks about the power of intentional thought as the key for creating change.

The point that this coach seems to be missing is that an affirmation IS an intentional thought that is practiced repeatedly until it becomes a solid belief. It’s how we recondition our beliefs and reshape our identity. It is the basis for transformation.

Why? Simply put: It’s your thoughts that generate your feelings—and then your feelings inspire your actions—and your actions create your results.  What you think about matters. And what you think about yourself matters the most!

Here’s some good news: you believe yourself above all else!

We humans want to be “right,” and you are no exception.  When you have thoughts about yourself, your brain subconsciously collects evidence to support and solidify your beliefs.

This is great when you are kind and encouraging to yourself. Your thoughts and stories support and reinforce a positive self-concept.

But here’s some bad news: the primal brain has a negative bias, meaning that it defaults to the negative every time.  This was helpful in keeping early humans safe, but it does not serve us well anymore.

Have you ever had a day in which you accomplished almost everything on your “to-do” list, but your brain wanted to ruminate on the one thing that didn’t get done? That’s your brain defaulting to its negative bias.

Well, affirmations redirect your thoughts back to the positive, sparking the kind of motivation that will keep you moving forward rather than spinning on your flaws.

Affirmations give your brain access to new options and possibilities. They are thoughts you typically wouldn’t think unless you prompt yourself to do so.

I should also point out that much of the way you think about yourself (aka your identity) was created during early childhood by the thoughts, opinions, and beliefs of others. Your young mind interpreted this data in its unsophisticated way and stored it in your subconscious mind.

And now, all these years later, you most likely see this identity as a fact, and rarely think to challenge it.

That’s all fine and good, unless your beliefs about yourself and the world are getting in the way of what you want for your life.  If you’re not happy with where you are, chances are, limiting beliefs are the problem.

But here’s more good news: affirmations that align with your goals will help you recondition your mind to intentionally create the identity and beliefs that will serve you.

Affirmations are easy to create.  Just follow these basic guidelines:

• Think about how you want to show up in the world or who you need to be to achieve your goals.
• Then, start with “I am.” For instance: “I am fierce, bold and courageous.”
• Use present tense, stay positive, and keep it brief. For example: “I am an accomplished writer who sticks with her plan.”
• And, if you find it challenging to believe “I am,” try instead: “I am determined to” or “I am committed to.” For instance, “I am determined to be a successful marathon runner.”

Once you have created about five solid affirmations, then the next step is to repeat them throughout your day.  And if you write them out, it is even better.

I encourage you to give it a go and see what magic unfolds for you.

The birds, deer, beaver, and I are cheering you on, my friend!

I mean, what do you have to lose other than your limiting beliefs?