Life Coaching Tip: Many of us spend our entire lives focused on cultivating our self-confidence by hustling – believing this will bring us fulfillment. However, because of its flighty nature, it cannot solely do the job. It is your self-worth that is the foundation of your fulfillment. Without it, you’ll never truly feel fulfilled.
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I heard from several readers in mid-July in response to a piece I wrote about the struggle many women face of feeling “not enough” and how to create more feelings of sufficiency in your soul. (If you missed that message, you can find it here: https://movingforwardcoaching.com/creating-sufficiency/ .)
Cultivating feelings of self-worth and sufficiency (and releasing feelings of not-enoughness) is one of the most valuable shifts most of us, especially women, can make to help us fully embrace all the joy, love, success, and fulfillment life has to offer.
It’s truly at the heart of most matters.
So, this is the direction I plan to take my posts for the next few weeks.
Let’s dive in . . . .
Often women reach out to me because there is a goal they desperately want to achieve—something they long to manifest—believing that if they could just accomplish that one thing, then they would finally feel happy, satisfied, and complete.
Perhaps their goal is to land their dream job, start or grow their business, realize their goal weight, find new love, hit a money target, embark on a grand adventure, or something similar.
They think, If I could only accomplish this important thing, then my feelings of “not-enoughness,” self-doubt, and insecurity would go away. Then I would feel worthy, enough, and fulfilled.
Have you ever had thoughts like this? If so, did you find, not too long after achieving the thing, that the exhilaration of the win quickly dissipated and the old, familiar state of unfulfillment returned?
This certainly has been my experience for much of my lifetime, until I finally became curious about this pattern and realized that I had it backwards.
Manifesting anything from a place of “not enoughness” only creates more of the same.
But as women, most of us were taught that it’s the doing—the grinding—the accomplishment that will bring us lasting joy and fulfillment. Unfortunately, though, this just leads to exhaustion, burnout, and a relentless cycle of hustling.
So, here’s what I’ve learned through my own life experience and studies, as well as from coaching hundreds of women from all over the world . . . .
It is your self-confidence that expands with your accomplishments, and this ignites the exhilaration you feel when you first do the thing. Your self-confidence gives you drive. It is based on mastery and your belief in your abilities as a person.
But it’s based on external circumstances, so it fluctuates, according to your mood, performance, comparison, and approval from others.
Many of us spend our entire lives focused on building our self-confidence by hustling, believing this will bring us fulfillment. However, because of its flighty nature, it cannot solely do the job.
It is your self-worth that is the foundation of your fulfillment. Without it, you’ll never truly feel fulfilled.
Self-worth is the intrinsic belief that you are enough and worthy of love and belonging, just as you are—regardless of how you perform and independent of what’s happening around you.
Self-worth is based on identity, and it’s stable throughout every circumstance. Self-worth is essential because it gives you peace.
Self-confidence without self-worth doesn’t work. BOTH together are necessary to create a joyous, fulfilling life.
This is at the heart of the work I do with my clients because I know the solution for them to find meaning and satisfaction must come from within.
There must be an internal shift at the soul level, not dependent on circumstances, which fosters feelings of empowerment, fulfillment, connection, and a deep sense of self-love.
If this speaks to you, then know, you deserve this, too!
My coaching process will help you gain an awareness of the areas “not enoughness” is showing up for you and impacting your feelings of happiness, fulfillment, and joy.
And from there, I will help you cultivate feelings of worthiness. I will teach you how to embrace sufficiency, resist hustling, create boundaries, and learn to love and nurture yourself.
Because, when you pursue your dreams from a foundation of self-worth, your baseline is that of “enoughness,” lovability, and worthiness. There’s nothing to prove.
And as you take bold, audacious action, your self-confidence will grow—creating an unshakeable state of badassery that will make you unstoppable.
You won’t be stuck due to feelings of unworthiness, and you won’t sabotage your success along the way.
And best of all, when you reach new heights and accomplish your goals, you will actually enjoy your success and feel happy, proud, and fulfilled in the journey.
What else could be more important in this one-and-only life of yours?
PS – Ready to go deeper, cultivate self-worth and self-confidence, and take your life to the next level and beyond? Private Coaching will get you there. Learn how to join here.
PPS – The next Shine On Group + Coaching Program begins November 6! Learn how to join the waiting list here.
Releasing Perfectionism